Sunday, September 7, 2014

inspiration

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my blog is called "I'm not here to hide". I took this phrase from the song "to be strong" by the beatsteaks. the band itself has been a huge part of my life for over 10 years now, I would roughly put them in the alternative/punk/rock section, fast fun songs and meaningful lyrics.

growing up in your teenage years means finding yourself. before I could manage that, I've lost my identity completely. the way I was and how I behaved has been rejected a lot in my early teenage years, and I felt very insecure. after a while, I had no own opinion, I agreed with everything, kept things that mattered to myself. I felt empty, I was hiding.

live music and concerts have been a huge part of my life since then. by the time I actually kissed a guy, I had already seen around 50 bands live, just to put that in perspective. bands like foo fighters, weezer and pearl jam, just to name a few, helped build up my inner strength and made me realize how far gone the real me was.

it was my final year at school where a lot changed. old friends left, so I opened up for new ones. I started to disagree and state my view on things, and it was ok. people got to know the real me, finally, the awkward weird childish mess, and they appreciated it. most of the relationships that develloped or deepened at/after that point are still in my life somehow.

what I learned the hard way is: the more you put yourself out there, the more genuine and most of all real all your connections and relationship will be. to put it in one phrase to live by: it's better to be hated for what you are, than be loved for what you're not. stop pretending. stop hiding.

people will always judge, everyone evaluates situations and persons, all the time. people will disagree and they just won't like you, and that's a good thing. it means you've stood your ground for something, someone or even yourself.

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