Friday, October 31, 2014

ugly


at the point from child to teen, I have never put much thought on my appearance - after all, it's just my face, and I had to live with it. of course that changed, when people startet to question my gender ("are you a boy or a girl?") and actually calling me "ugly". the standard was irreversably forced in my brain by society. never being good with make-up and style, I thought I was surrounded by natural beauties and I'm a monster and of no interest whatsoever.

maybe that's why halloween has become my favourite time of year. it's not a tradition in this part of the world, so for me it's a fancy dress theme, more precisely an UGLY one. I've pulled off great costumes for about 10 years now, all of them ugly and even manly. I know I always looked great, people didn't even have to tell me - but they did anyway. beetlejuice is my absolute favourite so far, this time I'm planning to dress up as the sweet transvestite which we all know as dr. frank n. furter.

growing up, halloween-dress up has helped me a lot in accepting myself and most of all my appearance. I was always wondering - are persons interesting, because they are pretty, or the other way round? what came first? I know I'm not a monster and beauty has a lot to do with self-acceptance, which then builds up confidence. it's a positive vicious circle, if I may put it that way.

whenever I put on too much make-up now or actually think I look "good", I don't feel like myself anymore. I've grown so attached to the way I look now, and it's finally a part of me I don't want to hide. happy halloween!

1 comment:

  1. Hey Lisi ! what amazing post that I can definetly relate to. Growing up I have never been good with make-up either and I kind of wondered why everyone looked so beautiful and not me . But now that I'm older I grew to be more comfortable with how I look and how much make up I put on (or don't put on ) .I think It's only a matter of time and growth.

    Khaoula
    http://shared--thoughts.blogspot.com/

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