hello fellow-internet-browser!

I'm a fairly active consumer of all sorts of blogs - just not my own. rest assured I'm well - very well actually! - even if my blog posts are outdated by now, sigh.
have a great day, lisi

[march 11, 2018]

Friday, January 2, 2015

emotional habits

feeling ill over the holidays leaves you with feeling not much else. it was also a good excuse to be ignored on new year's eve and not be kissed/hugged to wish me happy new year 2015. this sounds so sad, but to me, it's actually not at all. 

looking back on the last year - it did pass quite quickly and without much meaning. if I hadn't travelled, nothing exciting would mark 2014 for me. which got me thinking recently.. what exactly does make a year/life meaningful?

at 25, I've come to a point in my life, where I've got most things figured out - job, home, friends. it's funny how I actually put it in this order.. I've come to accept that: I live to work. I tried to change it but in the end it's an important part of what my life is/was about up until now so I guess I just keep on rolling with it. 

I would love to have something else in my life to give it meaning. a feeling similar to a partner, or a child, even a pet.. but at the end of the day I'm (still?) too egoistic to make my life about another being. I've always been a loner, never dwelving too much on feelings, happy or sad. it's like an addiction, being me. I know it's not healthy but I don't want to stop. not just yet. 

to do what I want has always been a freedom I desired, but what's next? I'm a firm believer that we need security as much as surprise in our lives. to have something to fall back on, family, friends - as well as money and a home, of course - is the base we need to live. but from that point on, isn't it exciting, that nothing is set in stone? anything can happen at any given moment?

I actually have to move out of my apartment in a few months.. so I guess I'm ready for some change, definitely. bring it!

PS: if you are not familiar with the image above, do me a favor and watch donnie darko. you're welcome.


  1. to me being with someone doesn't mean "make my life about another being". to be honest my findings are the complete opposite. for me it means building a life together while still having your own life. this may sound like it doesn't make any sense - but to me it does. :-)
    After about two years together I still have my own life, with my decision, what I do, what I love, what I care about - just like he does. I actually thinks this way it makes for a much healthier relationship.

  2. oh, to find a person that makes me feel independent! hopefully I will someday.