Thursday, January 15, 2015

soul cleaning



went to see the beatsteaks some time ago, once again - great show, just overall great quality music and honest love for performance. when singer arnim told everyone to "put the cameras away - enjoy the music!" everyone thankfully did so.*

the music washes through me, every riff scrubs off my soul, the bass - a massage, with happy ending, of course. it is a cleaning, a healing process to me. I relive all the memories I have with this band, their music, the moments... the people I've shown their music to, lent CDs, everything comes back and feels real again - not just a dusty souvenir from the past in the back of your head.

it's amazing how memories are tied to music - or tastes, smells and photos, obviously. but bringing back a feeling, the way I felt a decade ago, this is magic. once again it proves to me, that every memory is valuable, even the bad ones. I tend to put those aside and ignore them, maybe it would be better to see them as a part of the bigger picture.

bringing back those memories, I feel the emotion, the pain, the grief - I can see my room, where I used to sit on the floor brooding over things I actually forgot about. or things that don't matter anymore, I still remember how I've felt, but can't quite understand it anymore. my brain forgets, but not the heart.

"I don't love you" by my chemical romance used to be the ringtone for my ex-boyfriend, very prophetic, but I thought it was a beautiful song nonetheless. that was around year 2006, but years later, I was sleeping on the couch when my sister put that song on - I actually stood on the couch within seconds, because I thought he was calling me.. feelings go deep, and they tend to stay there.

*RANT: what's with people and their phones at concerts anyway? there is no way you can get a decent photo, video or audio footage of a performance with any phone on the market. it's simply annoying, and distracting.

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