I'm a fierce believer, that the answers lie within me.. that I can find everything I need to cope with whatever life throws at me in my mind and soul. but the truth can sink in deep..
just this week I've had the shocking realization - I'm surrounded by people I love. if I want to, I don't ever have to spend a moment by myself. which was a relief and reassurance. most of all, because my friends do give me the alone-time I need, since they're knit the same way.
so I took the time and made plans with friends and family who I have neglected in the past months. I enjoy the one-on-one time for its purity. while those meetings were both grounding and refreshing at the same time, one absolutely knocked me off my feet.
I've felt those strands of thought brewing beneath the surface but out of habit, I simply ignored them. it seems I covered every mirror not to look at myself properly, and she tore the sheets away and made me see my true self again.
I used to dream of horses. wild and free, but loyal, modest and sensitive at the same time. sometimes it was black, sturdy and tame, the other time it was brown, lean and beaten, but still persistent and loyal.
it sounds obvious, but I wondered what they meant, where those creatures were leading me, when all the time the horse only symbolized myself. to keep this spirit animal in mind helps me to focus on what I see in myself, my own value.
may it evolve, wander, sometimes be buried.. but may we never forget it.