we're all walking contradictions.
what keeps me going is the balance of security and surprise. while I do enjoy the stability of my job and apartment, I like to keep that feeling in the back of my head, that this could be changed any day.
I'm the most loyal person - if I'm not tied down. if somebody told me, I had to work my current job for four years straight, I'd have never started. getting to decide myself, I'll probably stay another four years anyway.
nobody has their shit together anyway, whether they're 14, 31 or 57 years old. and it doesn't even matter to worry about the future, because it might not even happen. so set yourself some goals and never stop trying things.
you won't find out, what you truly want in life, but at least you can tick off things you don't want.
I used to work 9-hours shifts on 6 days a week, this way I saved money to travel around New Zealand. meeting other travellers, the typical backpacker kind, all I could talk about was my job, which came as a total shock to myself.
so after returning, I swore to not take my job as seriously anymore, so I applied for a similiar job, but only 5 days/week and with less responsibility. and now I worked there happily ever after? hell no.
my brain couldn't handle the lack of serious work and got bored. I made mistakes and the dominant behaviour of my not so lovely superior didn't help. I felt my body reacting to the stress it caused me and I quit after a few months.. and have now been working a great job for over four years!
long story short: there is no plan, no security. thank god.