so I managed to get shitfaced on december 23rd. it was good fun, classic pre-drinks at my house with a local rock concert and ended in our fave pub. but like a total noob I went from white wine to mulled wine to tea & rum with a few beers in between and oh don't remind me of the shots.
I don't know about you, but I'm the puke-hangover-type. my stomach gets really mad and upset, I cannot hold down even a single gulp of water, let alone solid food. I didn't feel like near death this time, but my belly was not having it.
after throwing up twice during the day (is this TMI? oh well, who cares.), I got up to visit my family for a lovely christmas eve dinner. I had high hopes, but my stomache? not so much. my brother in law even prepared a vegetarian starter and main dish for me, but I had to tap out after one bite... and re-visit the toilet, again!
even though they all thought it was funny, I just felt bad... and like I disappointed them. after all, they made an effort and I couldn't even try the main dish! (writing this a day after with an empty fridge is even more painful...). I have to confess this as well, no use in sugarcoating it - I had to through up again just as my BFs mom wanted to take a photo.
while they were all understanding and took it with a laugh, the more I sobered up now, the more this whole experience nags at me. not only did I miss out on a happy christmas, but also denied other of it.
the thing with alcohol is though, I just don't seem to learn. slowing down worked the last few months, but that's the point: I'm doing it on purpose. it's either all or nothing then. so I'll try baby steps... no alcohol this year (I know, it's almost over) then maybe no alcohol until my birthday (still a month to go then!) and we'll see what happens. "no alcohol in 2017" is a bit harsh, but who knows? one step after the other...
little disclaimer here: I believe that alcohol is a social disease and of course addictive. while I don't drink regularly, I now realize: I drink too heavily - at least my body keeps reminding me.