Friday, March 24, 2017

greet death like an old friend

I'm in a sleepless ecstasy.




last night on my drive home from work, I wondered if dying or rather, to be dead, would feel like sleeping forever. a very comforting thought, it made me smile. that line from harry potter came to mind, the tale of the deathly hallows, where the third brother with the invisibility cloak "greeted death like an old friend".


this song came up in my playlist on my drive to work and I had to swallow down tears. yup, I was that tired.

so work is pretty stressful at the moment, my mind is kinda having fun with it but my body is reacting differently. I'm exhausted. I'm trying to take care of myself as good as I can, of course I don't want to let anybody down.

-

I don't think I'm afraid of my own death. sometimes, when I'm looking back on my life, I can honestly say - it was good just like it was. I try to live like it was on purpose, and every day could be my last.

not in a way of doing crazy shit like jumping out of a plane or quitting my job to travel the world. more like, I have made peace with myself and everyone around me. to me, this is most of all honesty. being true to my feelings and communication.

such a humble thought.

maybe I could do more, change lives, live up to my abilities.
harder, better, faster, stronger.
no, thank you.

do you want to be remembered for your bank account, or your follower numbers?
I want people to say...
"yeah lisi, she was a good guy."

I'm aware, I'm not a guy, but I hope you get what I mean.
the term "good girl" makes me think of my kindergarten years.

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